If you’ve been diagnosed with cancer, seemingly innocuous
words or phrases take on a completely different meaning. In my world, words
like remarkable, and radical are terrifying! Here’s my top five list of words
that might make a cancer patient shout out for joy or quiver in fear:
Unremarkable: This is the second most coveted word. If it’s
typed in our scan reports, we celebrate, we call our family, our friends to
tell them just how fantastic it feels to be unremarkable. Nothing remarkable
means no tumors, NONE. It usually precedes the most coveted three letters of anyone
with cancer, N. E. D. (No Evidence of Disease)
Suspicious: Dreaded like none other. Instant thoughts? The
cancer is back, the cancer has grown, they’re not quite sure, so I could be
doomed, or it could be scar tissue, I’ll need more scans, different scans,
maybe a biopsy….
Radical: Until I had a radical mastectomy, this was always a
positive word. Living on the edge in life? You’re radical! No longer the case
after “breast malignancy”, now radical resounds as an aggressive way of
removing a breast.
Bruise: A memory from some rough housing? Not any more! With
an angiosarcoma diagnosis, any small bruise can signal a recurrence. Every
single time I look in a mirror, I see a dreaded bruise, and without fail, I
assume that it’s cancers flag planting itself in all it’s purple glory.
Take a deep breath and hold it: Anyone who has had a CT scan
has had a lovely computer simulated voice utter this phrase. It’s the very last
action we take before we are bombarded with the ionizing radiation that will
reveal the extent to which we are remarkable…or unremarkable. It represents the
crescendo of scanxiety. Holding your breath while your life literally hangs in
the balance? Agonizing
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